


Diners & Diatribes

by writingonpostcards



Series: 10k Posts Giveaway [17piesinseptember] [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Diners, M/M, Ridiculous, arguing as a form of flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 08:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20468354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingonpostcards/pseuds/writingonpostcards
Summary: Written for my10k posts giveaway on TumblrPrompt: 1950s, jack and tater own a diner, bitty is the cook and j + b get into ridiculous fights about the dumbest things and end up kissing at the end





	Diners & Diatribes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [notenoughgatorade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notenoughgatorade/gifts).

> This is the first of ten 1k word fics that I am writing as part of this giveaway. Subscribe to the series so you don't miss any! They'll also be posted to [tumblr](https://17piesinseptember.tumblr.com/) and [pillowfort.](https://www.pillowfort.social/writingonpostcards)

“Stop!” Bitty yells from the other end of the counter.

Jack looks up, lettuce in hand.

“Bacon goes on first.” 

Jack frowns. “Lettuce goes on first.”

_ “No,” _ Bitty puts his hands on his hips, “it’s bacon first.” 

“It’s not. It’s lettuce first.”

“Bacon.”

“Lett-”

“Jack!” Bitty throws his hands in the air, putting an end to the verbal tennis match that had the diners at the counter flicking their heads back and forth. “It’s a B-L-T. _ Bacon _, lettuce, tomato.”

“But then the bread gets soggy from the bacon fat,” Jack argues.

Bitty narrows his eyes. “Who is the cook here, and who is only helping out because Sandra couldn’t come in today?”

Jack heaves out a sigh and switches the lettuce for a slice of bacon instead. “Happy?”

“Very.”

“I can’t believe you treat your boss this way,” Jack says, carrying the plate past Bitty.

“Remind me why Tater hired you?” Jack says when he returns, leaning back on the counter by Eric’s hotplate.

“Because Tater thinks my food is better than sex and you got so flustered when he said it your jaw was still draggin’ on the floor when he offered me the job,” Bitty reminds Jack.

Jack’s cheeks go a predictable red. He clears his throat. “Maybe Tater hasn’t been having sex with the right people.”

Bitty flips a burger too hard and it drops to the floor between him and Jack.

“Jack!” Bitty is startled by the unexpected crass joke coming out of Jack’s mouth. 

“You dropped something,” Jack says, laughing at Bitty.

-

“Is this milkshake milkier than normal?” Jack pokes at it with the straw.

“Well, _ someone _forgot to buy an extra pint of ice-cream yesterday like I asked.”

“Right,” Jack nods. “I’ll talk to Tater about that later.”

Bitty snatches the milkshake away from Jack. “Excuse me. I asked _ you _. Don’t drag Tater into it.”

“Sorry, Itty-Bitty.”

Bitty narrows his eyes. “I’m considering tipping this over your head.”

“Don’t do that. You’d mess my hair up. I just got it cut yesterday.”

Bitty runs his eyes over Jack’s head though of course, he’d noticed straight away this morning. “Is that why you forgot the ice-cream?”

“It took longer than I thought it would. The barber was very chatty,” Jack grouses.

Bitty grins. “Well, that would have been punishment enough.”

“It was.” Jack sounds pained. “He had a really thick accent. I couldn’t understand half of what he was saying.”

Bitty laughs and hands back the milkshake.

-

“Sleeping on the job?”

“No-one’s here right now.” Bitty waves a hand around the empty diner. 

Jack slides into the booth across from him. “You know-”

Bitty shuts his eyes and leans his head against the booth. “I’m not in the mood for arguing right now.”

Bitty hears Jack slide out of the booth. "Where are you going?" 

"I'll be back in a minute."

Bitty cracks an eye open. "The jukebox? Is this really the time?"

"Do you trust me?"

It's an easy question to answer after two years of working together. "Yes."

Jack enters a number then walks back to the booth. By the time the record has loaded he’s slid in beside Bitty.

The music starts. Bitty presses a hand to his chest. Jack's put on his favourite song.

Jack lays an arm along the back of the booth, invitation clear. Bitty leans in to Jack's side and they listen to the song in silence.

-

Bitty whacks Jack’s hands away from the plate of chips. “Do you wanna burn your fingers? Let ‘em cool a bit.”

Jack groans. “But they smell amazing.”

“How you’ve lasted in a kitchen environment for so long, I will never know. You have zero safety skills.”

“That’s why Tater’s always putting us on shift together.” Jack bumps his shoulder into Bitty. “You make sure I go home with all my fingers and toes.”

“And I pay the price for it.” Bitty faces Jack. “Do you know I found a grey hair the other day? I have you to thank for that."

Jack laughs. "You found _ one _? That's nothing. Have you seen my head?" Jack leans in, showing off the salt-and-pepper at his temples. Bitty secretly thinks it works on him.

Bitty shoves Jack’s head away. "Hard not to when you're always nosing around my grill."

"Your grill is right behind the counter. I have to be here."

“Not _ here _here. It ain’t natural that I can smell your aftershave more than the food I’m cooking.”

Jack sticks his head right under Bitty’s nose. “You’re welcome.”

-

“Empty diner. You know what that means!” Jack says gleefully, sliding over the counter instead of using the swing-door like a normal person.

“Do not play that song or I will wallop you with my heaviest rolling pin,” Bitty threatens as Jack heads for the jukebox.

Jack looks over his shoulder and grins in a way that’s pure evil.

“You’re a ridiculous man and it’s a wonder I haven’t quit,” Bitty says when Jack dances back over.

“You bring it out in me. If you quit, I’d go back to being an un-ridiculous person with no sense of humour. Just ask Tater. ‘Before you start, Jack was like stone man. Smiles very rare.’”

Bitty laughs. Jack’s dancing is bad. The accent may be worse. “I’m sure that’s not true. You smile all the time!”

“It’s true. You’ve always brought out the best in me, right from the start.”

Bitty smiles, heart warm. “Back at you. I’m glad I found you.”

Jack cocks his head. “Me?”

“_ This place! _ I meant this place.”

Jack leans over the counter toward Bitty. “I wouldn’t mind if you meant the other thing.”

“Really?” Bitty whispers. “You’re always arguing with me.”

Jack’s mouth lifts at the corners. “Pot. Kettle. You wanna know a secret though?”

“Sure.”

“It’s because I don’t know how to flirt.”

“Jack.” Bitty’s heart jumps into his throat. “Don’t mess with me.”

“I’m not. I’m terrible at it. I’m more of a gestures kind of guy.”

“How so?”

“Like this.”

Jack holds Bitty’s face in his palms and kisses him.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I did the last-second panic about a title thing.
> 
> Thanks to [marc0bot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marc0bot/pseuds/marc0bot) ([b1ttle](https://b1ttle.tumblr.com/)) for beta reading this work for me!
> 
> I try to reply to all comments so feel free to leave one (*^.^*)


End file.
